


How to Tell Your Best Friend You Love Him

by ThePursuer



Category: Digimon Adventure, Digimon Adventure Zero Two | Digimon Adventure 02
Genre: Hints of Taichi Yagami/Yamato Ishida, Hints of Takeru Takaishi/Hikari Yagami, Hints of one-sided Ken Ichijouji/Miyako Inoue (on her part), M/M, Mentions of Jyou Kido/Mimi Tachikawa, More teenage angst than I know what do with
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 15:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4484276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePursuer/pseuds/ThePursuer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s hard to hide things from other people. Especially when “other people” means your best friend. Especially if what you’re trying to hide is that you are in love with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Tell Your Best Friend You Love Him

**Author's Note:**

> **Fandom:** Digimon Adventure  
>  **Title:** How to Tell Your Best Friend You Love Him  
>  **Author:** SweetFirefly  
>  **Rating:** PG-13/T  
>  **Genre:** Romance  
>  Pairings: Daisuke Motomiya X Ken Ichijouji (Daiken); mentions of Jyou Kido X Mimi Tachikawa (Jyoumi); hints of one-sided Ken Ichijouji X Miyako Inoue (Kenyako), Takeru Takaishi X Hikari Yagami (Takari) and Taichi Yagami X Yamato Ishida (Taito).  
>  **Spoilers:** Up to Diablomon Strikes Back.  
>  **Summary:** It’s hard to hide things from other people. Especially when “other people” means your best friend. Especially if what you’re trying to hide is that you are in love with him.  
>  **Disclaimer:** I don’t own Digimon Adventure. Isn’t that just plain obvious?  
>  **Warnings:** YAOI, meaning that this fic features two boys who slowly come to terms with the fact that that they like each other. 
> 
> So, this fic is a really old one. And I mean really _really_ old. As in, the original manuscript was inside one of the big notebooks of my first year of high school. 
> 
> It's taken so long to see the light of day mostly because I was unsure about the soccer vocabulary. Now, having read some sports manga and watched some old soccer games on YouTube, I'm a bit more confident about it. Soccer-savvy readers, please warn me if you notice anything weird inside my description of the game... I still find it a bit hard to describe games in a language other than my native Portuguese.
> 
> Someone betaed the first part of the story. I did not take all of her advice to heart, and I've changed a few things since then, so, if there are any mistakes, I'm the one to blame, not her. Please warn me if you see any so I can fix it.
> 
> Also, I'm pretty sure there isn't a month of free time between the semifinals and the finals of a junior high soccer regional championship, but call that artistic license.

“ _Daisuke, look out!"_

_THUMP!_

“Ouch!”, a faint cry escaped from Daisuke’s lips as he fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

His vision blacked out for a second, but it cleared again when Taichi-san got to him, blocking the sunlight with his long spiky hair. “Sorry, man, I didn’t mean to hit you! You alright?”

“Almost”, Daisuke answered, his voice quieter because of the ringing bells inside his head. “Wouldn’t be if I wore glasses, though.”

They were playing soccer in the school’s field; Taichi insisted that, if Daisuke really wanted that high school soccer scholarship he kept talking about, he had to practice a lot more. At the time, Daisuke thought it was nice of him to set up those small practice games; now, his head ringing like a temple gong on New Year, he wasn’t sure “nice” was the right word.

“Wow, that was a hell of a hit!”, Takeru’s easy-going voice reached his ears from somewhere above. He was holding the round culprit under one of his arms. “Your head is tougher than it looks, Daisuke. Must be the hair.”

“Ha, ha, you’re _so_ funny”, Daisuke quipped. Everything smelled like grass.

He tried to get up, but the soreness on his hands stopped him; he’d probably bruised them when falling. He _knew_ he should have worn his gloves, damn it.

Again, he tried, this time biting back a groan as the beginning of a headache started ringing in his head. He tested his balance, leaning back a little. Still dizzy, he tripped and was almost falling again when two soft, familiar arms caught him from behind.

“You alright?”, a sweet beautiful voice asked worriedly into his ear. “You should rest a little more, Daisuke.”

Okay, he decided as his heart leaped in his chest like an excited rabbit, _now_ he wasn’t alright.

“I’m fine, Ken”, he said firmly, gently freeing himself of his friend’s hold. “No need to worry. See, I’m already on my feet.”

 _And I really am_ , he thought, testing his balance again. Though still a little lightheaded, this time he managed to stand without help, which was enough for Taichi.

“So let’s start again!”

“Calm down, Taichi”, said Yamato sternly. “You sure you’re alright, Daisuke? You don’t look like you are.”

Well, _obviously_ he didn’t look like he was, but he wasn’t going to spill out his misery during a soccer game. He mustered all the forces he had and managed to give Yamato a weak grin: “Do you really think I’m letting you guys win this game?”

Yamato laughed then, probably convinced, and Taichi hit Daisuke’s shoulder playfully. “That’s my boy! Koushiro, to the goal!”

“Okay!”, said the redhead, running to the opposite side of the field.

“Okay, let’s start again”, Yamato said, quickly regaining his authority over his team. “Takeru, on position! Ken, to the goal!”

“Right!”, exclaimed Takeru, while Ken only nodded, his violet-blue gaze still stuck on Daisuke. The goggle boy pretended not to notice.

The other team quickly dispersed. Paying attention to their movements, he didn’t see Taichi coming closer to him until his hand touched his shoulder.

“What?”, he asked, turning around startled.

The look on his friend and mentor’s face was very serious, and that made Daisuke’s heart skip a beat. Taichi was never that serious unless the situation asked for it.

“Try to focus more on the game.”

“But I am—”

“Oh, yeah, of course you are. When I kicked, you were staring at the sky! How exactly do you expect to win the big game next month? Don’t you remember it’s the last game of the season and that everyone’s counting on you?”

“Of course I remember!”, Daisuke replied with indignation. “I’m captain, I’m not letting the team down!”

“If you don’t want to let the team down, _pay attention on the game._ Any problems you have, keep them out of the field, in the back of your mind, okay? Or else you’ll be having real trouble to win.”

He couldn’t stand the serious look on Taichi’s eyes anymore. “Okay.”

“You sure?”, his mentor asked, some sympathy slipping into his voice.

“I promise.”

A smile crept into Taichi’s face, and Daisuke couldn’t help but feel a little relieved. The last thing he would want to do was to disappoint Taichi-san.

 _No_ , the last thing he would want to do was…

“Hey, Taichi, Daisuke! Are we going to play or you’d rather spend the rest of the afternoon chit-chatting?”

“Shut up!”, Taichi laughed, his expression a bit softer as he looked at Daisuke. “Let’s go, then?”

“Roger!” 

Yamato threw the ball to Ken, who caught it in the air, seeming slightly more focused on the game now; Taichi stood next to Yamato, and Daisuke ran to where Takeru was, to block his way if he needed to.

Ken kicked the ball.

Yamato caught it and tried to send it to Takeru, but Daisuke intercepted it, and quickly made a pass at Taichi. His senpai’s words were still echoing on his head.

_Any problems you have, keep them out of the field, in the back of your mind, okay?_

He really didn’t want to disappoint his friend, but what he’d asked of him was easier said than done.

Slowly, the reddish-brown eyes turned to the other team’s goalkeeper – whose eyes were stuck on Taichi, like his ones should be, damn it.

It was stupid as hell that he’d fallen in love with his best friend.

An understandable stupidity, though. Digimon Kaiser issues aside, Ken was the kindest person on Earth. He was gentle, and _good,_ and did everything he could to help people, to make people happy, without ever asking for anything back, without any second intentions. And he had this knack for understanding things, and endless patience to listen to other people’s troubles, and also a smile which could bring everyone peace. And, as if it wasn’t enough, he was gorgeous, his long silky hair, the violet-blue eyes shy and bright. Ken Ichijouji was a person worthy falling in love with.

He just wished there weren’t so many problems.

First, they were boys. No, Daisuke wasn’t an idiot, nor prejudiced. Not all boys liked girls, he knew it and accepted it, but he also knew most of them still _did_ like girls. The chances of Ken not liking girls were low – he had gone out with Miyako, once, hadn’t he? And, even if Ken liked boys, who was to say he could love Daisuke that way? Ken wouldn’t hate him, he didn’t have the ability to hate, but he’d remember Daisuke’s feelings every time they looked each other in the eyes. Their friendship, which was Daisuke’s most precious treasure, would never be the same.

There was only one answer, then: keep his feelings hidden.

He’d been having a pretty hard time doing it.

Every time Ken was around, his stomach would explode in butterflies. He felt chills running down his spine whenever Ken made a sudden movement. Every little touch they shared sent sparks through his entire body; when they were close, Daisuke felt like a livewire. Sometimes, he would stare at Ken’s lips, wondering how a kiss of them would taste, and then Ken would catch him staring, and he’d feel so, _so_ awkward…

It was impossible to stay at Ken’s side and keep his mouth closed! Only if he avoided Ken…

He stopped dead on his tracks, unable to believe he hadn’t come up with that earlier.

What if he avoided Ken?

It would be good, just for a while. He wouldn’t have to keep his hands to himself all the time, like he’d been doing lately. And, of course, it wouldn’t be for long, just for the time he needed to straighten things out on his head and stop – stop being so ridiculous. And Ken wouldn’t be able to observe him all the time like he he’d been doing recently – Daisuke could tell he was starting to get suspicious. If he avoided Ken, everything would be just fine.

That was what he would do, he decided. He would avoid Ken for a while.

“OI, DAISUKE! Stop daydreaming and _focus on the ball_ – Koushiro! – _damn,_ Yamato’s scored again!”

* * *

Ken knew a lot of things about Daisuke.

Ken knew that Daisuke had an ugly scar just behind his left elbow, from that one time he’d jumped off the roof of his elementary school. He’d never told anyone, because he didn’t want to put the guys who challenged him to jump in trouble.

Ken knew that, even though Daisuke pretended he didn’t like Jun, he loved her because he knew she was the best sister she could be.

Ken knew that Daisuke loved hot chocolate, and that a surefire way of making him happy was to add some cinnamon to his drink.

Ken knew what foods Daisuke liked more, what made Daisuke’s blood boil, how Daisuke felt about life, what Daisuke was allergic to. He knew some things about Daisuke that even Daisuke himself didn’t know.

_(How handsome he looked under the sun, how full of life he seemed when playing soccer, how his eyes shone when his friends were smiling, how beautiful was his smile when he was helping other people…)_

He knew how Daisuke’s face looked when he was troubled.

He knew that Daisuke liked to spend time with him.

Yet, in the past two weeks, they hadn’t met each other half as much as they used to do. Daisuke always seemed to have a _(lame)_ excuse: whenever Ken appeared, he would tell him he was busy, and, whenever Ken went after him, in school or after soccer practice, it would be only to find out his friend had already left. _Even worse:_ in what turned out to be a painful moment, Ken found out that, whatever was wrong, it had to do with him. Last Thursday, he’d met Takeru in the park and the blond told him he and Daisuke had gone to an arcade the day before.

And what was distressing Ken the most was that he didn’t know what happened. Daisuke, usually an open book about everything, wouldn’t tell him what was wrong. He wouldn’t even admit that something was wrong, and he wouldn’t look him in the eyes.

Ken could only think of one reason for Daisuke to suddenly stop seeing him altogether.

_What if Daisuke…?_

“So, here we are!”, exclaimed Miyako. Ken realized suddenly that, lost in his thoughts, he hadn’t even realized that he, the purple-haired girl and Hikari-san had finally reached Daisuke’s house, intending to invite him to catch a movie.

“Who is going to knock?”, asked Hikari, looking at him intently.

Ken had a feeling nothing good would come of that visit.

He moved forward and knocked, only to hear heavy steps and jumps from behind the door.

The sound of the key finally hitting the lock was followed by an annoyed voice. “Jun, don’t you ever reme— _Ken!_ ”

Ken had to smile when he saw Daisuke’s cheeks reddening; his best friend had never been good at hiding embarrassment. He stood quietly waiting for his explanation.

“S--sorry”, Daisuke muttered, apparently unsure of what to say. “Thought it was Jun, she went out with her friends and forgot the key. Stupid sister.”

“Daisuke”, said Hikari disapprovingly. Only then, Ken realized, did Daisuke notice the two girls’ presence. He gave the Chosen Child of Light a weak smile.

“You know I don’t really mean it, Hikari-chan”, Daisuke said kind of embarrassedly, and Hikari had to smile.

“Hi, Daisuke!”, Miyako choose that moment to step in, with her best advertiser voice: “You’re a lucky man! Today, you’ll have an opportunity that few people in the world have!”

“And what is it?”, Daisuke asked, and Ken could tell the goggle boy didn’t seem exactly at ease. His expression was slightly troubled.

“You’ll have the wonderful opportunity of accompanying two single beautiful ladies, and this single guy over here, to see the bestest action movie of all times!”

A shadow clouded his friend’s eyes for a moment, but Miyako didn’t seem to notice it. “I know, I know, you don’t need to thank me—”

“Miyako, I – I can’t go.”

Miyako’s enthusiasm disappeared instantly. “Why?”, she asked with a pout, which left Daisuke even more troubled.

“Because… because… ”, he hesitated, waving his arms anxiously. “I – I have homework!”

It was Hikari’s turn to step in, then. “But, Daisuke, we don’t have any homework.”

"We don’t?”, Ken could tell that Daisuke was swearing inwardly. “But – we always have homework!”

“Not this time. Remember, we had a test last Friday, and—”

“Oh.” He paused for a moment. “You’re right.” He looked astonished for a second.

“Well, then”, said Miyako happily, “if you don’t have any homework, you can come with us!”

Daisuke opened and closed his mouth a few times, clearly trying to think. Ken wondered if Miyako was really oblivious to his discomfort, or if she was just enjoying seeing him squirm.

“—It’s not my homework”, he said, at last. “It’s Jun’s.”

“But… isn’t your sister at university?”, asked Miyako. Apparently, she was really oblivious.

“That’s why I can’t go… I’ve got a lot of work to do.”

“But… shouldn’t your sister, you know, do her _own_ homework?”

“…I—I’ve lost a bet. That’s why I gotta do her homework.”

Hikari stepped forward.  “Are you sure, Daisuke-kun? It would be so nice if you could come!”, and, clearly thinking fast: “If you don’t go, I’ll have to call Takeru-kun to sit at my side!”

To everyone’s bewilderment, Daisuke agreed excitedly:

“Yeah, that would be cool! I e-mailed Takeru yesterday, and he told me he’s got nothing to do today! Why don’t you call him?”

Hikari blinked, a smile which conveyed something between amusement and shock crossing her features. Miyako realized that, if not even the threat of Takeru sitting next to Hikari would make Daisuke go out, nothing would.

“It’s a shame that you can’t go, Daisuke.”

“I’d really like to go, Miyako-chan”, Ken’s friend said half-heartedly. “Wish I hadn’t lost the bet. Well, I hope the three of you have fun!”

Miyako shrugged, seeming upset. “Well, bye, then.”

“Bye, Daisuke-kun!”, Hikari said, finally recovering from the surprise.

“See you!”

Miyako and Hikari turned to leave, but Ken remained where he was, secretly hoping for a chance to talk with his best friend alone.

Daisuke was looking at him, his face still slightly flushed. “See you _,_ Ken. I hope you have fun too.”

"Daisuke—”, he started, but he didn’t know how to continue.

There were so many things he wanted to say. So many questions left unasked, so many words left unspoken, and Daisuke was looking in his eyes, for once… “Daisuke, I—”

“Ken-kun, we’re going!”

Ken closed his eyes when he heard Miyako’s voice. When he opened them, Daisuke was staring at the ground again.

“Good luck with your, I mean, Jun’s homework”, Ken said then. “Call me if you need any help.”

Daisuke smiled, closing the door, and Ken knew he wouldn’t call him even if there was really any homework.

He ran to catch up with Miyako and Hikari.

“Daisuke was really strange… I mean, what was that about Jun’s homework? Even I could tell it was a lie.”

“Maybe he just didn’t want to hang out”, said Hikari doubtfully. “You know, he must be tired, with the last match of the season approaching.”

“I think he looked kind of sad… Did he tell you anything, Ken-kun?”

“What?”, he raised his head, not following the conversation. “Oh, no, he didn’t.”

That left the girls even more puzzled.

“You know what”, said Hikari, at last, “I think we should do something to cheer him up.”

“That would be great!”, Miyako agreed, her usual cheerfulness taking over her features once more. “After all, nothing can defeat a four-years-long friendship! Don’t you think so, Ken-kun?”

“Huh? Oh… yeah.”

As the three of them reached the street, however, Ken couldn’t help but think that Miyako was wrong. There were things that could defeat – destroy, even – a four-years-long friendship.

One of those things was the secret he was hiding.

 _What if,_ he wondered, cold with fear, as Miyako and Hikari wondered about the shortest way to Yamato’s house, _what if Daisuke found out?_

* * *

He put one of his feet over the ball, examining the goal on the other side of the field. Briefly, he wondered how weird that scene would seem to anyone who approached the soccer field right now; that boy, alone, under that scorching sun, looking like some sort of ghost.

Okay, seriously?

He was getting tired.

Before that mess began – yes, he had to recognize it was a mess – he would see or talk to Ken every day. He’d meet him after cram school, and he would walk Ken home, and then he would have to come back all the way from Tamachi, but he wouldn’t mind because meeting Ken left his heart warm. Whenever Daisuke had soccer practice, Ken would be waiting for him when it ended, and they’d go for some ice-cream, or even for a snack, depending on how much Daisuke was hungry. If, for some reason, they couldn’t meet, then one of them would call the other when they arrived home, and they would spend hours talking about the events of the day.

And, now, two and a half weeks had passed since he started avoiding Ken, and already Daisuke knew that that hadn’t been his wisest decision.

He missed Ken. He _really_ missed Ken. Ken not being there with him hurt like a physical wound, like he’d broken two or three ribs near his heart. His mouth felt dry when he thought about Ken – which he did all the time –, and his fingers longed to touch Ken’s skin; his eyes longed for Ken’s, for that warmth and comfort, for some conversation and fun and some of the friendship he’d treasured so much. Besides, he was almost going crazy, not having anyone to chat with.

 _Well,_ he _had_ people to chat with, but the thing was he didn’t have the same intimacy with anyone else. He’d tried hanging out with Takeru, once, and they had visited an arcade which had opened recently, but that hadn’t gone as well as he would have liked; they’d talked, for sure, and Takeru was a fun person to be with, but he just – he _wasn’t_ Ken.

Angered, he kicked the ball hard. He managed to score a goal, but he was so furious he barely noticed.

Why did things have to be that way? Why did he have to hide what he felt?

He lay down in the grass.

The green reminded him of the picnic the Chosen Children would be holding on the Digital World the following day. Everyone would bring something different from home – a pretty good list from what he’d heard; Miyako was thrilled because Iori had gotten his mom to make some of her famous kanpyo rolls – and they would meet the digimon and choose a nice spot and eat and talk and have fun. And he, Daisuke, with the excuse that he was tired, had said he wouldn’t go.

“Damn”, he muttered, feeling extremely frustrated.

He knew it was for the best, but couldn’t things just—

“Daisuke-kun?”

There was suddenly a head blocking the sun, a pink, glittered head, and Mimi Tachikawa’s unmistakable voice reached his ears:

“What you’re doing here in the grass? Are you hurt?”

“No, I was just resting”, he said, getting up and feeling happier than he had felt in weeks. “It’s nice to see you, Mimi-chan! Did you come over from America?”

Mimi looked around, to see if there was anyone listening, before answering him. “Officially, I’m here for the picnic”, she said, “but I have another reason too.”

“What reason?”

“Okay, don’t tell anyone – I’m looking for an apartment to rent.”

“You’re coming back to Japan? That’s great!”, he said, with feeling.

“Do you think so?”, she smiled. “I’m happy about it. America is cool, but, it’s like they say: ‘There’s no place like home’. But, really, don’t tell anyone! It’s supposed to be a surprise.”

“A surprise for Jyou-senpai?”

Mimi’s smile grew wider. “Do you think he’ll like it?”

“Of course he will! He misses you a lot when you aren’t around, Mimi-chan.”

 _Miss._ The word sent a cold feeling straight to his gut, and, for a moment, he focused on his trembling fingers, and not on what Mimi-chan was saying: “—but I think it’ll make—are you alright, Daisuke?”

“What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I am. Sorry.”

Mimi looked around again, with a frown. “Where’re the people? I thought there was training today, or so Sora told me.”

“Oh, well, there was, but it ended already.”

“No wonder I found you here alone! But, well… shouldn’t a certain blue-haired friend of yours be around?”

Daisuke had to avoid her eyes. “Ken’s got cram school.”

“So shouldn’t _you_ be waiting for him there?" 

“I – I wanted – well – hum – too tired.”

Mimi raised an eyebrow. “You’re tired? Okay, so who are you and what did you do to Daisuke Motomiya?”

Daisuke laughed. “I’ve been training a lot lately – last match of the season is coming.”

“Still, you’re not one to get tired so easily. It’s everything alright between you and Ken?”

What was that with girls that they always seemed to get straight to the point? “Of course, things are fine.”

She put her hands on her hips in an authoritative manner, and he knew he was screwed.

“Daisuke, you can do better than that.”

“Things are fine”, he said, trying to put more sincerity into his voice. “It’s just that I’ve been training a lot. Don’t worry, Mimi-chan, there’s nothing wrong.”

Mimi still seemed a little unconvinced, but it only took a look at her watch for her to forget everything:

“Look at the time! I’ve gotta hurry, I said I’d meet Sora-chan at four. See you at the picnic, then?”

“Well…”, he started with a sheepish smile. “You know, I’m t—”

“Don’t you come on with excuses, Daisuke Motomiya! If you’re tired of training, hanging out with your friends will make you better. You have to go, it’ll be good for you.”

He somehow doubted that. “Ah—”

“Oh, c’mon! It’ll be no fun without you.”

She was smiling her best smile at him, and, hell, how could he resist?

“Okay, I’m going.”

“Pinky promise?”, she extended her pinky finger.

“Pinky promise”, he took it with his own.

She grinned. “Alright, then! See you at the picnic! And don’t you dare not to show up!”

“I won’t!”

Laughing and waving goodbye, Mimi ran away to meet Sora. Leaving Daisuke a bit troubled with the idea of being near Ken after so long, but feeling slightly better about himself.

* * *

The day didn’t seem promising, Ken thought.

All the Chosen Children were on the room. Taichi-san and Yamato-san were next to the windows, talking enthusiastically about the next soccer World Cup. Iori-kun and Kido-senpai were sitting by one of the desks, chatting about Kido-senpai’s first impressions about his work. Sora-san and Mimi-san were standing on a corner of the room, and they were talking in a low tone about something he couldn’t pick up. Takeru-kun and Hikari-san were leaning next to the door, discussing the possibilities of having ice-cream after the picnic. Koushiro-senpai and Miyako-chan were working together to open the Digital Gate.

All the Chosen Children but Daisuke were in the room.

Daisuke’s absence hurt like a physical wound, and to know that he wasn’t coming because of him felt like an anchor dragging him down to somewhere dark. For a very embarrassing moment, he felt his eyes burning a little bit, and had to choke the will to cry back – it was neither the time, nor the place. 

Why things had to be that way?

"Digital Gate opened!”, exclaimed Miyako happily. “Everyone’s ready?”

"Yeah”, they all nodded.

“Wait!”

Or, at least, most of them.“Aren’t we going to wait for Daisuke-kun?”, Mimi asked.

“Daisuke’s not coming, Mimi-chan”, said Hikari, slightly sadly.

“But he promised me he would.”

Ken raised his head so fast he heard his neck snapping. “What? When?”

“Yesterday, at the soccer field… I thought there was training and went there to see everyone, but only Daisuke was there. He promised me he’d come to the picnic.”

“He pro—”

“Ouch!”

From the corner of his eyes, Ken saw Takeru moving, just before the door opened totally and his best friend’s voice reached everyone’s ears:

“Sorry, Takeru! I didn’t know you were behind the door!”

Everyone’s eyes turned to Daisuke, his own among them, terribly hopeful. 

“What?”, Daisuke muttered, his cheeks going red. “I’m sorry! Besides, he shouldn’t be leaning on the door!”

Laughter filled the place, which seemed to leave his friend even more embarrassed.

“No, no, Daisuke, we’re just glad to see you”, said Taichi-san. “Mimi’s just told us you were coming.”

“Oh, well. I realized you wouldn’t be able to have fun without me, so I came to enlighten you all with my presence.”

Even more laughter and Miyako commented loudly: “Damn, now there won’t be any food left for us! Why did you have to come?”

"Well, I brought some soda. The food may get eaten, but there’ll still be plenty of drinks!”, Daisuke joked, as he usually did when trying to disguise embarrassment. 

“Guess we’re ready, now”, said Koushiro-san, sounding amused.

Everyone lined in front of the computer screen.

“Daisuke”, Ken called quietly, unable to stop himself.

The goggle-boy looked up at him. His reddish-brown eyes were filled with something he couldn’t place, and Ken felt pain stinging his chest.

“What’s wrong?”, Ken mouthed to him.

“It’s your line, Miyako-chan!”, said Hikari.

“Chosen Children, let’s rock!”

And, before Daisuke had the time to say anything, they were dragged into the Digital World, and Ken bit his lip bitterly on the way.

* * *

Digital ground had something to it, Daisuke decided, that could bash away all his bad feelings. At least, for a moment.

He ran his eyes over the other Chosen Children, who were recovering from the travel, and spotted Ken, who was looking back at him. Looking back with that clever look of his.

He had barely noticed that, however, before he was pushed onto the earth by something blue that hit him hard in the back.

“Daisuke!”, V-mon’s cheerful voice reached his ears from somewhere above his head.

“Ouch”, he murmured. “V-mon, you know you shouldn’t jump on me like this, don’t you?”

“Huh?”, the blue digimon cocked his head to one side, in wonder.

Well, Daisuke could hardly blame him. He’d been so used to having V-mon at his side the whole time, that, when it had been decided by stronger forces that the digimon would stay only at the Digital World, he missed him so much he would spent hours and hours talking to Takeru, asking him how the hell did he survive not being with Patamon for three years. He was sure his partner felt the same, and every chance they had of meeting went like that.

“I’ve missed you, little guy”, Daisuke said, hugging V-mon tight.

“I’ve missed you too, Daisuke!”, V-mon said happily, hugging him back.

Then his bright red eyes spotted something somewhere behind his shoulder. “Hey, look, Ken is there! I’ll say hello to him!”

“What? _No,_ V—”

But his hyperactive digimon was already running to Ken, and Daisuke was already running after him, and, all of a sudden, he found himself right in front of Ken.

Right in front of Ken.

“Ken!”, V-mon, that monster, went ahead, hugging Ken’s legs with the same abandonment.

“Hello, V-mon”, Ken said gently, taking a step back so he could kneel and hug V-mon. “Same as always?”

“Same as always”, V-mon answered brightly. “And you?”

“…Same as always”, Ken said with a brief, almost inexistent hesitation.

Daisuke wondered for a moment where was Wormmon, until he felt something tugging at his leg.

“Hello, Dai-chan!”, the green digimon greeted politely.

“Hello, Wormmon!”, Daisuke smiled, also kneeling so that his head was more or less at Wormmon’s level. “How are you doing? Helping the others a lot?”

“I’m trying!”, Wormmon said, blinking. “But it’s better when you are around! It’s different, being without Ken-chan.” He looked at his partner.

Who looked back at Wormmon, then at Daisuke, then pursed his lips and stood, looking intently at him.

Oh, _shit._

“Daisuke”, he said, with feeling.

He’d noticed something was wrong.

He was going to ask what was wrong.

Daisuke would have to tell him, or to make up an excuse in, like, two seconds.

_Shit, shit, shit…_

“Hey, Daisuke!”, Miyako called from somewhere at his left. “Can you bring the soda here, please?!”

Kami-sama _, bless Miyako and her oblivion, please. Thanks a lot. Your biggest fan, Daisuke Motomiya._

“Sorry, gotta go!”, he said hurriedly, and ran to where Miyako was, V-mon on his tracks.

He couldn’t see Ken’s face, but he didn’t have to see it; he knew very well Ken’s disappointed look, and Ken’s frustrated look, and he knew Ken well enough in general to tell he was wearing one of those expressions (or maybe even a mix of the two) right now.

“Are you alright, Daisuke?”, Miyako asked, setting down the goods – kanpyo rolls, _sushi_ of all kinds, a ton of homemade cookies, and something which looked vaguely like a cake – in the sheet they had extended in the ground. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“It’s alright, Miyako-chan”, he said dismissively, and carefully took the bottles of soda he had brought out of his bag. He could tell V-mon was looking at him, he could tell Miyako was looking at him, and he could tell Ken was looking at him from where he stood.

What he couldn’t tell was when that hell was going to end.  

* * *

The picnic was just great.

He’d had lots of fun: between spending time with Agumon – he had never really grown used not to have him at his side constantly —, his happiness at the opportunity of seeing Mimi-chan again, given that it had been long since he’d last talked to her, and dropping juice in Yamato’s hair, it was easily one of the best afternoons of the month.

It seemed to be like that for most of the others, too. Koushiro and Miyako-chan spent the time talking about something computer-related and very complex, judging by the look on Hawkmon and Tentomon’s faces. Takeru, Iori-kun, Armadimon and Patamon had entertained themselves with a game of pick-up sticks that Mimi had brought along with her for _three hours_ – Hikari had narrated it to him later, and he didn’t know what disturbed him the most: the fact that a person could stand such a game without going mad, thinking of Armadimon trying to pick a stick, or thinking of Hikari watchingit intently without going mad. Yamato and Sora and Jyou spent all the time discussing professional careers, which should have been boring but apparently hadn’t. At least for them; Gabumon, Piyomon and Gomamon had eaten almost all the food while their partners were chatting.

Well, that left him with the ones who hadn’t had fun.

Daisuke and Ken had sat at opposite sides of the sheet they had extended. They ate in silence (which, in Daisuke’s case, was kind of worrying in itself, since he usually couldn’t keep his mouth shut for more than ten seconds), and just listened to other people talk, generally not taking part in the conversation, and exchanging strange, sad looks.

What worried him the most was the way they looked like. Daisuke was, generally, a portrait of cheerfulness, brash attitude; he acted as if he had his own set of batteries, always full-charged. Ken wasn’t impetuous like that, but he always had that air of amused happiness, of silent contentment swirling around him, like he was a bit surprised he was there but enjoying himself anyway.

Now they just looked lost.

Oh, well. He knew better than anyone how a broken heart felt.

“So, what do you think, Yamato?”

“It’s simple”, Yamatopondered. “Ken’s probably in love with Daisuke. And he has been for a long time, I guess.”

“And what about Daisuke?”

“He reciprocates, of course. He’s very obvious about it.”

“But he really doesn’t seem to know what to do.”

“Don’t forget that you’re his idol.”

“Where would I be if I couldn’t listen to your mocking of me _._ ”

“I know”, Yamato said with mock-cockiness.

They eyed each other, laughing quietly. “Do you think we should do something?”

“Well”, Yamato smirked uncharacteristically, “this is what rock stars and mentors are for.”

He felt his grin becoming larger, a rush of excitation running through his veins.

It was time for Taichi Yagami and Yamato Ishida to act.

* * *

“Hello, Ken-kun!”

Ken smiled, even as he felt a taste of bitter disappointment in his mouth. It was stupid of his part, really: every time someone knocked at his door, he answered in a hurry, hoping to see Daisuke behind it. Up to now, it hadn’t happened.

Visitor of the day was Miyako Inoue.

“Hello, Miyako-chan. How did you manage to get here so early?”

“Oh, you know. A good alarm clock, some coffee and a very good morning disposition!”, she smiled brightly.

Her smile faltered, though, when she had a better look at him. “What’s up?”, she asked. “You’re looking sort of gloomy.”

“It’s nothing”, he lied smoothly. That was one gift of the Kaiser which he kept for useful times, like that. “I’m just a little bit sleepy, I’ve just woken up. Do you want to come in?”

“Oh, no, no. It’s just that today is Sunday, and Hikari-chan and I are preparing for… you know, Daisuke’s game. I wanted to check with you if you could bring some soda… Because you’re going, right?”

It seemed to him a huge waste of time to come all the way from Odaiba just to ask if he could bring soda, but he preferred to ignore the subtle truth behind Miyako’s smile, instead focusing on her claim.

“If I’m going?”

“Yeah. Stupid question, sorry. Okay, can you—”

His polite dismissive smile fell all of a sudden, and some odd kind of desperation chilled down his spine.

“Miyako-chan, I’m—I’m not sure if I’m going.”

Miyako’s jaw dropped. “You’re _not_ going?”

“Well—it’s that—”

“But – but – but it’s _Daisuke’s_ game!”, Miyako exclaimed, gaping shamelessly. Although she usually had a lot of complaints about the goggle-boy’s behavior, she often acted the same way he did, albeit with a lot more of grace. “Daisuke’s your best friend! He’ll feel terrible if you don’t make it!”

“Do you think so?”

The question came out a little bitter, and he cursed himself inwardly, unable to face Miyako’s honest stare.

“Ken-kun…”, her next words were very slow, as if she was choosing what to say. “Did you and Daisuke… you know, had a fight?”

“Not that I know”, he answered, and he couldn’t keep his feelings inside himself anymore. “But everything has been so weird lately… we—we don’t hang out anymore! We used to meet at least once a day, even if it was just to say ‘hi’, but I haven’t talked to him since the picnic. It’s—it’s been five days, and I miss him so much already. And, when we meet, he barely speaks to me. He doesn’t even look me in the eyes anymore. I don’t—don’t know what to do. I think he’s mad at me.”

He took a deep breath, and Miyako allowed herself a question of her own: “Why would he be mad at you?”

“I—I don’t know”, he gulped, but he knew oh so well. “But I think he won’t be happy if I show up at his game. He doesn’t like to see me anymore.”

He turned his eyes away from Miyako, in the futile hope that she would not see the tears which burned in them – so it took a moment for him to notice the wide smile which bloomed on her face.

“You’re being silly, Ken-kun.”

“What?”

“You’re being silly. Tomorrow’s game is very important to Daisuke-kun. Even if things between you aren’t exactly fine, you should go. He’ll miss you if you don’t.”

“But—”

“No ‘buts’. Do you seriously think that one single stupid fight can end a friendship like yours?”

“What if it is about something serious? What if it’s not stupid at all?”

“How can it be that serious if you’re not even sure of what it is! Ken-kun, what you and Daisuke have is much more than just any random friendship.” At this point, Ken had to suppress a shudder. “Think about all the things you two went through, together! The Jogress Evolution! You wouldn’t be the person you are without Daisuke, and he wouldn’t be the person he is without you either. He would be _tons_ more stupid.” She said. “How can you think that he’ll forget you, that he won’t miss you?”

“Do you really think so? Do you think he’ll miss me?”

“I think he’ll spend all the time looking for you, his smile will drop when I tell him you didn’t make it, and he’ll spend the rest of the day gloomy and wondering why you’re not at his side. _And_ he’ll fail at the game.” She sighed. “Ken-kun, nothing can end what you and Daisuke have.”

Miyako’s words weren’t necessarily true. However, there was something better than truth on those words; there was hope, there was the promise that everything would be alright in the end, and Ken wanted so hard to believe.

“So, can you bring the soda?”, Miyako winked.

He really wanted to believe.

“Certainly.”

* * *

He changed to his soccer uniform very slowly.

Time wasn’t flowing naturally. It seemed slower, lots slower, as if he was walking on a nightmare instead of real life.

It might as well have been a nightmare; that terrible feeling in his gut was very akin to one.

Soon, the big match of the regional championship would start. The trophy of last season was one of Odaiba Junior High’s little treasures, and the coach had been adamant that it should stay on his room at least for another year. Besides, everyone was counting on him; since he’d been elected captain of the team, everyone’s eyes had been stuck on him, hoping to see if he would be as great as the Great Taichi Yagami, if he could help that team win the championship again. So far, he’d showed them: his improvement as leader (courtesy of the Digital World) had incited the team to do their best, and they had made it to the last match. He really didn’t want to throw away all their efforts now.

But he had to acknowledge that he couldn’t play right now.

His legs were heavy, as if someone had tied them with chains, and his head was cloudy and hurting.

Ken was in his head, with his hurt blue eyes and that sad smile of his, and Daisuke wanted to fix everything. He wanted to go and chat with Ken just like before, when they were just friends and nothing else, but he wasn’t sure Ken could forgive him that easily. He wanted to look in Ken’s eyes and enjoy that warm feeling inside, that intimacy that the two of them had, but he wasn’t sure that Ken felt it any longer.

He wanted to touch Ken’s face, to see one of Ken’s normal, happy smiles, and to know everything would be alright, but that he knew he couldn’t do.

He wanted to scream and shout and beat himself up for destroying what they had.

And he walked to the field, the match about to start, and he knew Ken would be at the cheering crowd (Miyako would surely drag him there), and how could he play if he didn’t even know how to fix his own life?

 _Any problems you have, keep them out of the field, in the back of your mind, okay?,_ Taichi-san’s voice echoed on his head, and then he spotted Taichi-san himself, the closest he could to the field, his chestnut eyes staring at him with encouragement and intensity.

 _Gotta have courage, Daisuke_ , he told himself. _You’re the damn bearer of the Digimental of Courage. Don’t back down._

_Don’t back down._

And he shook hands with the other team’s captain, and the flow of time changed, and everything went so fast, and the last game of the season started.

* * *

“C’MON, Daisuke, kick that way you do when – _don’t, don’t_ – DAMN, Daisuke, FOCUS! Hell!”

Ken could hear Taichi-san’s swearing from his seat, and, _worse_ , his soccer-crazy side agreed heartily with every word.

What _was_ Daisuke doing?

The Odaiba Junior High team was already losing by two goals, and Daisuke wasn’t helping any – taken aback by the score, the players had broken formation, and the team’s captain’s head was somewhere else…

And then, his best friend side showed up: what was troubling Daisuke? Why couldn’t he focus on the game? Was there something, _anything_ he could do to ease that hesitation on Daisuke’s brown eyes?

 _And the answer is “no”,_ a bitter voice mumbled in his head.

Maybe – and that possibility was enough to crush Ken’s heart into pieces – maybe the problem was _him._ Maybe Daisuke had found out, and still hadn’t figured out how to deal with those things – with Ken’s feelings. Maybe he was there, unable to look at the crowd for he wouldn’t be able to stand Ken’s gaze, trying to work a way of shoving his once best friend away without hurting him. Unable to focus.

“ _Daisuke, try working defense_ – GODDAMNIT – _SHIT!_ ”

Taichi-san’s swearing was engulfed by the cheering of the other team’s supporters, and, by the look on his face, Ken knew that the third goal of the adversary team was being replayed, over and over, in his mind.

He shut his eyes.

“You alright, Ken-kun?”, asked Hikari worriedly.

Takeru and Miyako’s eyes also turned to him.

“I’m fine”, he muttered, but, no, he wasn’t.

He opened his eyes again.

In the field, Daisuke’s face was full of sadness.

Damn it, where was the break when they needed it?

* * *

“Yagami, what the hell are you doing?!”

“Trust me, sir”, Taichi-san said, in his most serious tone, and Daisuke knew he wasn’t being saved by his mentor’s grip on his arm; _Taichi’s_ scolding would be worse than the coach’s. “I know this may not look like the best choice, but I believe you should keep Daisuke on the team for the second half.”

Being the ex-best player of the team granted Taichi a lot of prestige; he managed to get a nod of the coach, and also to drag Daisuke out of the locker room.

Once outside, he stared intensely at his young pupil, and Daisuke couldn’t quite meet his eyes.

“I don’t think the coach should keep me in the team for the second half”, he said bitterly.

Taichi ignored him. “Daisuke, do you know why did I give you these goggles?”

The question confused Daisuke. “Because mine were broken?”

“Well… that too. But it wasn’t just because of that. I gave it to you because you are the courageous one.”

Shame ran through his entire being. During the last month, he had been anything but courageous.

A hand raised his chin, forcing him to meet Taichi’s eyes. There was a shine of aggravation on them, at first; but it was soon replaced by understanding. 

“Once”, he said, releasing Daisuke’s face, “when we were searching for our Crests, during Etemon times, a digimon sent a message to Koushiro’s laptop. The digimon said he’d help us to find the last Crests, if we helped him to escape from where he was trapped. He was trapped in a large pyramid, and, over there, we found out that everything in the Digital World was made of data. I felt really, really happy.”

“Why?”

“Oh, if we’re made of data, we can’t die, I thought. We split up: some of us broke into the pyramid, while the others distracted Etemon and his minions. And there were those electric fences everywhere.”

“Electric fences like those on prisons?”

“More or less like that. There were passages hidden on those electric fences, so we could trespass. Koushiro could tell where the passages were, more or less – but it was very dangerous. We could be electrocuted at any moment. But I couldn’t care less.”

“Because you thought you couldn’t die.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s—” Daisuke looked alarmed. “That was really risky.”

“I was lucky”, Taichi-san shrugged. “But – well, the digimon hidden in the pyramid turned to be evil, and he kidnapped Sora and Piyomon. He hid her in a room behind those electric fences. I almost ran through it, but Koushiro had had enough of my carelessness. He told me, simply, that if I kept doing that, I was going to die.”

Taichi pressed one of his fists into the nearest wall.

“I was afraid, Daisuke. Afraid as I never had been in my entire life. Suddenly, I just couldn’t do it, I couldn’t go through that fence; and my hesitation gave Etemon enough time to reach us. We all had to run before he finished us – and we left Piyomon and Sora behind.”

Daisuke gave a whimper of sympathy. That was one situation he sort of knew, thanks to the Digimon Kaiser; choosing between your friends’ lives and yours.

“I didn’t get any sleep that night”, his mentor went on. “I kept blaming myself. I could hear Sora crying, I could hear Piyomon screaming. And I decided I’d come back – I would save Sora, no matter what happened to me.”

“And you went back.”

“Yeah. Koushiro, Tentomon, Agumon and I broke into the pyramid again, while the others fought Etemon outside. Koushiro had to stay behind – Etemon was coming after us – and I had to face the fence.”

“You—did you manage to—”

For the first time that day, Taichi-san smiled. “Yeah. You know how, Daisuke?”

The boy shook his head.

“When I faced the fence, I knew that there was something more important to me behind it. It gave me strength. I knew that I needed to win over that fear to win back again what I had lost – Sora, Piyomon, and _me_. That was when I understood what courage is – it isn’t to have no fears, but to be able to face these fears in name of what really matters.”

And Daisuke understood.

“He’s here, Daisuke. You haven’t once looked at the crowd, have you? But he’s here. Cheering for you, despite how much you’ve hurt him. Worried about your performance. Wishing he could actually do something to help you, to set things straight.”

He didn’t have to ask to know who Taichi was talking about. “Do you think he’s going to forgive me?”, he asked, quietly. “Will he still be my friend?”

“I don’t know. You have to decide, Daisuke. What matters most: this fear of yours or what you and he have?”

He was about to answer something when the coach got to them. “Yagami, you know I’m very fond of you, and that I trust your judgment, but, if Motomiya really wants to go back to the game, he needs to come back in!”

“It’s okay, sir. I’m finished.” And, to Daisuke: “Score a goal for me, right?”

When Daisuke raised his head, there was a new shine in his eyes. “I will.”

* * *

The moment he saw Daisuke returning to the field, Ken knew that something had changed.

He didn’t know how, exactly, he knew: maybe it had been the spring on his step, or the firmness of his posture. It didn’t matter; when the game started again, Ken was sure the second half wouldn’t be like the first.

Daisuke proved him right seconds after the whistle: with the very same daring movement which had brought down a self-titled, arrogant Kaiser so long ago, he managed to get the ball and send it straight to the fullback.

“Wow!”, Hikari exclaimed, at his side.

“Great!”, he heard Taichi-san screaming.

Daisuke managed to dodge the striker to receive the ball again, running out of the grasp of the midfield players.

He sent the ball to a teammate which was in position, and, together, they dodged the defense players – he could see Daisuke instructing the other strikers with gestures – and the ball was sent back to him – Daisuke dodged one fullback, then kicked the ball to the air – the other striker hit it with his head –

“GOAAAAAL!!”

He jumped out of his seat, along with Takeru and Hikari and Miyako and everyone as far as he could see – cheering and screaming and absurdly happy. Daisuke and the other striker were jumping together like maniacs, and then, for a brief moment, he looked to the crowd – and their eyes met.

It was like time had stopped; the cinnamon-brown eyes shining at him from field and a million thoughts crossing his mind – would he look away? – would he lose again the spring on his step? – would he forgive him once and for all?

And then, Daisuke smiled.

Inwardly, Ken knew that something _really_ had changed.

As they broke visual contact, the game already starting again, Ken realized there was a person at his other side.

“He’s improved, hasn’t he?”

Yamato-san was sitting there, looking like he had been watching the whole game; Ken, honestly, couldn’t tell if he was there from the beginning or if he’d just arrived. He was about to ask this – but Daisuke chose that moment to intercept what would have been a perfect pass from the other team. Throw in.

“Surely”, he answered, proudly.

Yamato-san grinned. “Those courageous people…”

“What?”, Ken turned to the blond.

The Chosen Child of Friendship shrugged. “Those courageous people… you know, people like Daisuke, Taichi, Miyako-chan, people who have a temper and like to act without really thinking – they just don’t know how to deal with their feelings silently.”

Ken narrowed his eyes. “What are you talking about?”

But he was soon distracted – Daisuke had just kicked to score, but the goalkeeper managed to catch the ball.

“I’m talking about those times”, Yamato-san started again, and Ken looked at his warm blue eyes, “when courageous people try to deal with their feelings silently. They make stupid decisions. Everyone and their cousin notices they’re acting weird – and, when they try to pretend that everything’s normal, they make an even bigger mess. They may even hurt people – lead them to think they mean something when they mean the exact opposite.”

Ken widened his eyes; could the blond be saying what Ken was hoping he was saying?

“What are you trying to tell me?”, he asked carefully.

This time, Yamato-san smiled. “I’m trying to say that, if I were you, I’d make him spill it out. It’s killing him to keep quiet, but he’s doing that for your sake – or so he thinks. Things will be the same until you make him voice his thoughts.”

Ken felt slightly confused. “But – how do I do that?”

“Oh, well. Corner him in a room and don’t give him any chance to escape”, the blond winked. “You know what, I’m going to get a Coke. Want some?”

“What? – oh, no, I’m fine, thanks.”

When Yamato got up, Ken saw Daisuke aiming a kick to the angle – and he raised his hands to the air, and the ball went right where his friend wanted.

“GOAAAAL!!!”, they screamed all at once, full of relief, and Takeru and Hikari hugged him, and Ken could hear Taichi-san’s praises ( _“That’s my boy!”)_ and Daisuke smiled at him again.

So, he would have to make Daisuke spill it out?

Well, if that was what was required… 

* * *

In the end, Daisuke’s team won the game, four to three, and he had made two goals himself, and he was involved in the other two. The coach had almost crushed him with hugs, and the rest of the team too – they had even let Daisuke raise the championship cup in the air! And the coach had said that if he kept on like that, they might just win nationals, and that high school soccer scholarship he was hoping for was just about guaranteed!

“Hey, Motomiya-kun, aren’t you coming? We have to celebrate!”

“Sorry _,_ Miyako _told me_ I’m going with her and Takeru and Hikari and their siblings to somewhere only they know. You know how she’s like.”

“Bad luck, Motomiya!”

“Goodbye, then!”

“Bye!”

And that was how he was left behind in the locker room.

He wasn’t lying; Miyako had really invited him (told him he was going to go was a better way of phrasing it) to a little celebration of their own. Yamato-san would offer them all a ride, and he had better hurry; the blond didn’t really like waiting, and Miyako wasn’t famous for her patience either.

Still, he couldn’t bring himself to move.

Moving would mean he’d meet Ken, and meeting Ken would mean they’d have to talk, and, although he had decided they _would have_ the talk, he was afraid of what would come of it – what would he say? How could he explain his behavior during the last month?

However, that time, someone else took the step for him.

“Daisuke?”, Ken’s voice came from the locker room’s door. “Are you here?”

“Yeah”, his mouth felt dry.

He heard the sound of the door being closed, and Ken emerged from behind the lockers.

“Miyako-chan was complaining because you hadn’t arrived yet, so I came to check where you were.”

“I’m here”, Daisuke said uselessly.

Ken looked at him for a moment, and, as he made no move to signal he was going to the car anytime soon, he sighed and sat at his side. For a moment, they both stayed silent, staring at the floor. Daisuke became suddenly aware of Ken’s proximity, and he wished he could touch Ken’s fingers.

“H—hey _”_ , they both started at once, then stopped; then Daisuke signaled Ken to continue.

Ken took a deep breath. “Daisuke… I need to ask you something.”

“Go on.”

His friend stopped again, as if it was hard to speak; then, their eyes met for a moment, and the words just came out 

“I need to ask what’s happening.”

"Sorry?”

“I need to ask”, Ken started again, visibly trying to stay calm, “if I did something that I bothered you. If I hurt you somehow. I need to ask if you’re angry with me, and, if that’s the case, I need to say that I’m really sorry.”

All that time, Ken had been thinking that everything was _his fault?_

“It’s just that”, Ken went on, and Daisuke saw the tears shining in his eyes, “you haven’t been yourself around me for some time now. We don’t do anything together anymore. And, when we are together, you don’t even speak with me… What – what have I done?” Despite Ken’s efforts, the tears were streaming down his face and it was terribly _painful._ “You – you don’t want to be my friend anymore, that’s it? Is there – is there something – you know, about me – that bothers you?”

If any other person had asked that to him, Daisuke would say the person was being uselessly melodramatic. But the way Ken spoke was honest, too honest for him to doubt; he really thought that things of himself, and he had all the background to support those kind of thoughts, and Daisuke had never hated himself so much as in the moment Ken finally started to cry.

“Ken – look –”, he stammered, totally unsure of what to do. “Please, I hate to see you cry.”

The quiet sobs his friend was trying to restrain had to be like the sound of his heart being broken into little pieces.

“The problem is not with you”, Daisuke tried to explain, holding his friend’s shoulders. “It’s never been. The _problem_ is that I’m an idiot – the world’s worse, most stupid, dumbest jackass living. I – I didn’t know how to deal with – with myself, and then I started avoiding you – ‘cause it would be best – because you were going to see the way you – you know, the way you make me feel – and I didn’t want to hurt you. There’s – I can’t say how _sorry_ I am. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, _sorry._ I’d punch myself if that could fix anything—”

“Stop it”, Ken said brusquely.

Daisuke did.

Ken’s voice was still slightly hoarse, but he had regained a hold of himself. “Stop talking about hurting yourself”, he said, in a quiet voice. “And…”

And then he raised his head; his face was sort of dirty with the tears, but the look in his eyes startled Daisuke.

“What did you mean… the way _I_ make you feel?”

Okay, that was it now.

Daisuke sighed, and finally said what he should have said from the beginning – nothing, but the truth in his heart.

“I – I love you. Not like a friend. I mean, I love you like a friend”, he added hastily, “But I love you more than like a friend. More – I love you more than anyone in my life. I – I love you as – as – as the person I want to spent my life with! You – you make chills run down my spine, and you make me feel all dizzy and stuff, just by looking at me. I love – I love the way your eyes shine – and the way you laugh – and – and _everything._ Everything on you. I love you.”

He had said all these words looking at Ken – and so he could see how Ken’s expression changed to one of stunned surprise.

“You – _you_ love me”, Ken said.

“Yeah.”

“ _You_ love _me_ ”, he repeated dumbly. 

“Yeah.”

“Everything – the awkwardness, that feeling I had that you were avoiding me – it was all because _you_ loved _me._ ”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

Ken’s expression turned into that particular one he wore whenever he understood a puzzle; when he was trying to solve a difficult problem, and had just found the solution. It was one of Daisuke’s favorite expressions, and he liked it, but he couldn’t understand why it was there on his face now.

“Wow.”

“What?”

“I can’t believe in how much we are stupid.”

“You’re not stupid.”

"But I _am_ stupid. More than you. In fact, you’re not stupid. But I am. I don’t know how could I have ignored it – I thought you were angry at me because of my secret. Because you had found out what _I_ was hiding.”

This caught Daisuke completely by surprise: “You were hiding something?”

“Yes”, Ken said kind of shyly, “I was. Sorry.”

“You’re good at it!” No offense taken, Daisuke’s eyes widened. “Since when? I haven’t noticed anything!”

“I’ve been hiding it for two years now. And – and no one ever suspected.” He frowned suddenly. “Though Yamato-san—”

He stopped mid-sentence, and Daisuke felt anxiety overcoming him: “What have you been hiding? Why did you think it would annoy me?”

“I didn’t think it would _annoy_ you… But I thought it would leave you troubled. And sad. And didn’t want what, so I hid it.” He sighed. “And I was so focused on myself that I didn’t realize what _you_ were feeling. Stupid.”

“You’re not!”, exclaimed Daisuke heartily. And then: “What is that that you’ve been hiding? Can you tell me?”

Ken’s fingers searched for Daisuke’s hand, tenderly caressing it, and his blue eyes were now locked on Daisuke’s:

“I – I love you. Too.”

And then the world made sense.

And it was so crazy – it was like the last weeks had never existed; like they had been erased in face of that happiness – no, _no,_ it was like _nothing_ had ever existed in the world, nothing but the joy of loving and being loved back.

And he was so overwhelmed by that joy, the joy of finally finding the place he belonged to, that he hugged Ken, and Ken hugged him back, both laughing and maybe sort of crying and looking at each other as if that moment was the most precious thing they had ever had.

Then Daisuke realized how their faces were close.

“Can I—?”, he asked, touching Ken’s nose with his own.

“Yes”, Ken gulped, closing his eyes.

Their lips met.

First, the softness of Ken’s lips, which were moist, and sweet, like a really delicious dessert; Daisuke nibbled on them with his teeth, tasting sweetness and blood from the little dry wounds that probably Ken had caused himsel, during the anxiety of the last month. Then, a slight, contained moan, as his arms held Ken even tighter; Ken’s lips parted, Daisuke’s lips parted, and his tongue valiantly entered his friend’s mouth, exploring, involved in warmth. Their tongues met and rolled against each other’s, fighting, caressing, and the taste and the chills running down his whole body…

Knocks at the door.

“OI!”, _Yamato’s_ voice interrupted them (no, Daisuke wasn’t feeling like putting honorifics into that bother’s name). “What are you two doing, making out? There’s a lot of hungry people waiting at my car!”

“Hurry up!”, Taichi-san added.

“Go ahead!”, Ken answered when he freed his mouth from Daisuke. “We’ll be right after you!”

His friend’s cheeks were very red, and Daisuke had to avoid a chuckle.

“We’ll be waiting at the car!”, Yamato shouted back.

Daisuke released Ken from his hug, then. They stared at each other; Ken was smiling, one of his graceful, actually honest smiles. Daisuke was grinning so much he was afraid his face would split in half.

“So, are we boyfriends?”, he asked, holding hands with Ken as they got up.

“If you want to”, Ken laughed gently.

“I want to.”

“Then we are.”

Daisuke couldn’t help but kiss Ken’s cheek. “And… are we going to tell everybody?”

“Oh”, Ken muttered, startled. “Eh – maybe not that soon. Let’s – hide it for a little while.”

"Awww. I don’t like hiding.”

Ken laughed again. “It’ll be fun. I’ll teach you.”

“Well”, said Daisuke in mock-wonder. “With a teacher like this…” His arms enlaced Ken’s waist. “Who knows? I might even like it.”

* * *

"So, we did it.”

“Yes, we did. Did you think we weren’t going to make it?”

“Of course I didn’t! It’s like you don’t know me.”

“Sorry, sorry _._ ”

“I just hope Ken hasn’t told Daisuke we’re holding a surprise party for him.”

“Well, I bet he hasn’t. Unlike you, he knows how to hide something.”

“Asshole _._ ”

“The asshole you like the most.”

“Well, I may not know how to hide things… but I certainly run faster!”

“Hey! _Wait!_ No fair!”

“I bet – I’ll get to – your car – first!”

“ _—You—che—cheater!—_ ”

“The – _cheater_ – you – like the – most!”

**Author's Note:**

>  **Thanks to:** Toei Animation, for everything Digimon-related and especially for Digimon Adventure tri! I'm hoping it'll do Adventure honor!
> 
> Hope you all liked it!


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